Choosing Happiness

I'm a happy person, because I choose it everyday. I have spent way too much time angry and unhappy in my short time on this Earth and I refuse to waste anymore time doing anything but enjoying life. I'm a firm believer that you aren't dressed until you put a smile on your face and that life is so much better laughing. I'm a natural encourager. My friends call me their personal cheerleader.

That being said--I have tough days too.

This morning I woke up feeling defeated. I had a phone call that I ignored and then told the person when I called back that I was "in the shower and didn't get the voicemail until dinner." I also know that if I give in to that feeling of defeat, it will continue for days. If I get out of bed, get dressed, and go outside--no matter how difficult it is to see another living creature--it will get better. I will overcome that feeling. But I have to choose.

So today, I got out of bed, took a shower, got dressed, and went outside. While going upstairs to our parts room, I repeatedly reminded myself of all the wonderful things in my life. Everything the Lord has blessed me with--friends, family, farming, kids, and even the not-so-wonderful weather today. I repeated my 21 "I am" statements over and over and over again. Then, our normally "particular" shop cat decided she wanted to play. She made me laugh. Ah--maybe life isn't so bad. I giggled and realized that I had stopped thinking about my tough morning.

Have I been my normally happy-go-lucky, laughing, loving life, B today? No. Not even close. Putting a smile on my face to thank the server at dinner and force a laugh at not-even-close-to-funny jokes at the dealership took so much energy that I was yawning on our way home. BUT. I did it. I got out of bed. I got out of bed and refused to be crushed by the feeling of defeat today. Was today my best day? No. But it surely wasn't my worst either. Tomorrow will be better. Or maybe not. But either way, I'm alive and I'm not going to let some stupid feeling squash me.